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I was Raped


I had two different rape cases that I couldn't tell anyone. They were one of the most painful parts of my life. The pain of not knowing who to talk to and the pain of stigmatisation couldn't make me talk. 

The first person in charge of my jamb registration said I was supposed to get a printout from him, but he said he left it home. I followed him just to get it and go home from there, and then he took advantage of me. He wasn't even sorry. The next thing he said was that you're not a virgin. I thought you were. That got me; it played in my head for days. He kept texting, saying he wants to keep having it and he enjoys taking it by force. These words made me depressed. I hated everything that was meant for men at that time. He didn't stop texting until I broke that sim. I avoided everyone at that time, and my family didn't notice because I don't really mingle with them. 

A little about my family: I was that one child seen as stubborn because they thought I wasn't book smart, but what I had were reading and writing disabilities. I was talked down on, and they compared me a lot with my siblings. I hated my siblings growing up, so I like to stay on my own and not talk to them. I had low self-esteem from all these, but I pulled through. I self-healed.

So I had no one to talk to. I spend time alone and check the Internet, as I always do. I was checking different ways to kill a man because I really wanted to kill him with the messages he was sending to me. I felt the pain for months, even after breaking my sim.

There was this day I was at home thinking about what I wanted to do with my life and my future. I had my family in the picture—my children, but no father. That thought scared me. I don't want children without a father. I don't want to be a woman without a man, so I started fighting the pain in my heart, and what healed me was this: I was hurt by one man and not by all men. I looked around, and I realised I had more male friends who were intentional about me; we've been alone many times, and they didn't make such an attempt.

That healed me. So I focused on that one person that caused me pain and not taking the pain on all.

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