I gave Olaitan attitude that I didn't want him near me after the first time we had it. I have everything I want. I felt like I didn't need him until the urge suddenly started. I went back to masterbation but was not satisfied. I'm thinking about what to do because I'm not satisfied. Then I turned back to him.
I acted like I had been through a lot when I gave him my attitude and he said he was fine. I didn't talk about my desires until a few days later so he wouldn't understand why I was acting normal. We talked about it and he said he knew I would want more.
We set a time for the next one and it's just as painful as the first. I was still bleeding, my hymen had not completely broken and it was very painful. At that time I didn't know what it felt like to get wet before making love, it caused intense pain and my virginal hurts.
I'm not satisfied because I don't know what sexual satisfaction is for women.
I only know it's done when a man releases himself. This made me even more frustrated, my skill acquisition course was over and it was the best way to get rid of Olaitan.
I stuck with masturbation and promised not to have it before marriage again. It was the least I could do because what I thought was the end of my frustration, which was having it to eliminate my desires, had opened a new chapter of suffering.
There's nothing better than being a virgin till marriage.
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